languatron
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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.
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Bonnie Hammer doesn't have to try very hard to put bad programming on the air. It's pretty much in her nature. Since Hammer took over Sci-Fi Channel, Hammer and Universal Studios WARPED & TWISTED the network into a SLEAZY COMMERCIAL BROADCAST NETWORK (general interest programming, minimal Science Fiction) with strong leanings towards Horror programming.
"Frankenfish" was the latest entry in Bonnie Hammer's weekly "SLEAZE BAG NIGHT AT THE MOVIES." With the help of her bargain basement, CGI effects crew in Vancouver combined with the Sci-Fi Channel's usual LOW BUDGET FILM CREW there, a dreaded killer fish came to unconvincing life (complete with bolts on its neck)? to slither and slime Bonnie Hammer's Saturday night ratings to the utter depths of hell.
"Frankenfish" points to a fundamental problem that both Bonnie Hammer and Sci-Fi Channel have. Their great fondness for CRAP PROGRAMMING. Instead of wisely investing money into quality Science Fiction productions, Bonnie Hammer resorts to the same old QUICK FIX GIMMICKS. The killer fish, the killer worm, the killer this, the killer that. Bonnie Hammer has earned the distinction of having the most UNCONVINCING CGI CREATURES to ever appear on a television network. When a monster obviously looks like a computer generated image, the credibility of your story is lost. That's alright with Bonnie Hammer. Hammer would never let such a mundane thing as CREDIBILITY slow her down or the production schedules of her Horror movies. Her low budget "Wonder Crew" in Vancouver keeps cranking out these LOW BUDGET TRASH FESTS with all of the finesse of 16 year old employees at Burger King picking their noses while preparing your Drive-thru order.
Conventional wisdom would suggest that "Frankenfish" is about as low as Bonnie Hammer can get in the poor taste department. This won't slow down Bonnie Hammer. She'll stoop to even lower levels of poor taste when coming up with these TRASHY MOVIES. Can we look forward to these offerings coming from Bonnie Hammer sometime soon?
1) The "Wolf Fish" 2) "Count Dracu-Fish" 3) The "Mummy-Fish" 4) "Poltergeist Fish" 5) "Haunted Fish" 6) "Resurrection Fish"
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