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December 18, 2005, 12:09:38 AM

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689 Posts in 462 Topics by 1 Members
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THE TRACK RECORD OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL......"JOHN EDWARD" CANCELLED....."THE CHRONICLE" CANCELLED......"FARSCAPE" CANCELLED....."TREMORS" CANCELLED......"DREAM TEAM" CANCELLED...."SECRET ADVENTURES OF JULES VERNE" CANCELLED....."BLACK SCORPION" CANCELLED....."SCIOGRAPHY" CANCELLED....."SCI-FI VORTEX" CANCELLED....."INVISIBLE MAN" CANCELLED....."G VS. E" CANCELLED....."WILLIAM SHATNER'S FULL MOON FRIGHT NIGHT" CANCELLED...."FIRST WAVE" CANCELLED....."FTL NEWSFEED" CANCELLED....."NEW OUTER LIMITS" CANCELLED......"POLTERGIEST-THE LEGACY" CANCELLED....."TOTAL RECALL-2070" CANCELLED......"THE WAR ROOM" CANCELLED......"SCI-FI BUZZ" CANCELLED......"TRIPPING THE RIFT" CANCELLED......"SLIDERS" CANCELLED....."WEEKLY SCI-FI NEWS WITH CHASE MASTERSON" CANCELLED...."MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" CANCELLED....."VR-5" CANCELLED........"TIME TRAX" CANCELLED......."THE FLASH" CANCELLED......"NOW & AGAIN" CANCELLED......"M.A.N.T.I.S." CANCELLED......."FANTASY ISLAND" CANCELLED......"TIME COP" CANCELLED........"SPACE PRECINCT" CANCELLED......."MAX HEADROOM" CANCELLED......."THE MAGICIAN" CANCELLED....."SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN" CANCELLED........"BIONIC WOMAN" CANCELLED......"HULK" CANCELLED......"SWAMP THING" CANCELLED......"WONDER WOMAN" CANCELLED......"THE IMMORTAL" CANCELLED......"VIPER" CANCELLED......"RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" CANCELLED (??)........CANCELLATIONS INCLUDE SCI-FI CHANNEL ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING AND SYNDICATED SERIES SHOWN ON SCI-FI CHANNEL...."RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" HAS NOT BEEN CANCELLED YET.....

"VAN HELSING" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."THE HULK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."CAT IN THE HAT" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."JOSEY & THE PUSSYCATS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."FLINTSONES" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIVA: ROCK VEGAS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."HOWARD THE DUCK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."PITCH BLACK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIRUS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE.....

WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS CANCELLED ALL OF THE SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AND REPLACED THEM WITH NON-SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, THEY NEGLECTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE NETWORK TO SOMETHING MORE FITTING. "THE HORROR CHANNEL", "THE USA NETWORK FILM VAULT CHANNEL", "THE INFOMERCIAL NETWORK", "THE HORROR/ACTION CHANNEL", OR "THE COMMERCIAL BROADCAST NETWORK" WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE APPROPRIATE TITLES.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TRACK RECORD WITH FANTASY MOVIES ISN'T MUCH BETTER. UNIVERSAL STUDIOS USUALLY RUNS INTO PROBLEMS WHEN THEY TRY TO MAKE LIVE ACTION MOVIES BASED ON COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS. THE "HULK" BORED AUDIENCES TO DEATH BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE.....TURNING "VAN HELSING" INTO A SUPERNATURAL "RAMBO" WAS TOO RIDICULOUS FOR WORDS....."CAT IN THE HAT" PROVED THAT 5 YEAR OLD KIDS WEREN'T READY FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" HUMOR......"JOSEY AND THE PUSSYCATS" WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A "CHARLIE'S ANGELS" RETREAD BASED ON A 1970 CARTOON THAT NO ONE REMEMBERED......THE "FLINTSTONES" MOVIES PROVED THAT REBUILDING "BEDROCK" ON A STUDIO BACKLOT WASN'T ENOUGH TO DRAW IN THE FANS OF THE CARTOON.....SOME PROPERTIES SHOULD BE LEFT IN CARTOON FORM, WHICH "ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" PROVED......"HOWARD THE DUCK" WAS GEORGE LUCAS'S FIRST CAREER FLOP. HOW FITTING THAT LUCAS CHOSE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FOR THAT MOMENTOUS OCCASION......"PITCH BLACK" WAS "PITCH DULL"....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" DISAPPEARED FROM THEATERS FASTER THAN "FINAL FANTASY-THE SPIRITS WITHIN"......AND "VIRUS" PROVED THAT WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS MADE A MOVIE FOR THE SUMMER OF 1999, NO ONE CAME AND WENT TO THE BEACH INSTEAD......

THE MANAGEMENT OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS AN OPENLY HOSTILE REGIME TOWARDS THE VIEWING PUBLIC, SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, AND THE "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" COPYRIGHT. THE ENDLESS GRAVEYARD OF CANCELLED TELEVISION SHOWS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AS WELL AS UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ENDLESS BOX OFFICE FAILURES INDICATES THAT THIS IS A CORPORATION THAT DELIBERATELY LOST ITS WAY IN MAKING RATIONAL BUSINESS DECISIONS. ONE CAN ALWAYS HOPE FOR MIRACLES, AND THE PERMANENT FINANCIAL DOWNFALL OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS A DREAM SHARED BY MANY.
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Author Topic: What Does Chris Larson Do For A Living?  (Read 45 times)
languatron
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What Does Chris Larson Do For A Living?
« on: December 22, 2004, 02:05:20 PM »

March 24, 2004


Chris Larson is the Dan Quayle of Galactica fandom. Sitting on the living room sofa playing Nintendo while the residuals from "B.J. and the Bear" and "Manimal" spare Chris the humiliating task of filling out job applications at Burger King.

Does this guy do anything else other than vegetating on the Internet all day long? There is an entire life out there, you know. Chris could pick up a broom every now and then and sweep out one of papa Glen's warehouses that holds the decomposing, lost "Galactica" footage that never made it into the DVD set. Better yet, Chris could vacuum his bedroom and take down his Linda Carter posters he has had on his ceiling since 1977.

If daddy Glen knew what a misfire he would have with Son Chris, maybe that romantic evening in 1965 would have been cut short.

You have to hand it to Chris and papa Glen. It's quite an achievement to spend this much time in Hollywood, and end up having less money than hourly wage employees in the Sci-Fi Channel mailroom. At least the baton has now been passed on to Ronald D. Moore, who will end up being more broke than the Larsons.  Kiss


                                                                                        Roll Eyes
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