languatron
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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.
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Well, this Friday, Bonnie Hammer has her cake and gets it rammed up her ass as well. This is the "Magical, Mystical Friday" that Universal executives have been fighting the general public over for a good year now. The Friday that will determine whether or not Bonnie Hammer goes back to the "World Wrestling Federation" and thinks of new ways to destroy the reputation of professional wrestling even further!! 
This is the Friday that the most NOTORIOUS FAILURE IN THE HISTORY OF BROADCASTING will pollute our airwaves on Sci-Fi Channel, and www.Scifi.com/scifiwire WILL CLAIM OTHERWISE. Yes, my friends; Ronald D. Moore's "BATTLECRAP: GALACTICA" premieres this Friday on Sci-Fi Channel with not only the LOWDOWN SPECIAL (see my other post on this bad boy); but two consecutive episodes in a row of the 13 episode order are being broadcast. Does Sci-Fi Channel WANT TO GET IT OVER WITH QUICKLY? No "holding the audience in suspense" by only showing one episode a week? Nope!! Sci-Fi Channel WANTS TO GET IT OVER WITH!! Broadcast as many CRAPPY EPISODES AT ONE TIME as they can, so they can see if BONNIE HAMMER STILL HAS A JOB THE FOLLOWING MONDAY!!
Lets see now, we better go through the "Universal Executive Checklist" just to make sure that Universal executives have covered ALL OF THEIR BASES before Friday's "BattleCrap" night!!
1) Universal executives spent the past year ARGUING with the general public on the Internet over Ron Moore's "CRAP FEST!!" CHECK!!!!
2) www.Scifi.com/Scifiwire is PRIMED AND READY TO GO with FRAUDULENT RATINGS CLAIMS for Ron Moore!! CHECK!!!
3) Bonnie Hammer has a fresh coat of paint on her broom stick, so she can fly around the room in MALICIOUS DELIGHT when www.Scifi.com/Scifiwire makes ratings claims about Ron Moore's "CRAP FEST" THAT JUST AREN'T TRUE!! Like, it's doing well in the ratings!! CHECK!!!
4) Universal executives successfully PEDDLED THEMSELVES in shopping malls across the country, HOLDING GUNS TO THE HEADS OF SHOPPING MALL CUSTOMERS if they didn't agree to watch Ron Moore's "CRAP FEST!!" CHECK!!!
5) The "Galactica" bulletin board on www.Scifi.com has been successfully turned into the most HEAVILY MODERATED/ONE SIDED BOARD (IN RON MOORE'S FAVOR), thanks to DISHONEST UNIVERSAL EXECUTIVES PATROLLING THE INTERNET!! CHECK!!!
6) Thanks to www.Stallioncornell.com/board, there will always be a CEASELESS SUPPLY OF WET TONGUES to be inserted into not only "RON MOORE'S RUMP", but the laughable "Meet The Fockers" as well. "Meet The Fockers" is the first success Universal Studios has had in FOUR DECADES, so Stallion_Cornell has his TONGUE properly MOISTENED for the occassion!! CHECK!!!
7) Did I forget anybody? Did I forget the ARMY of BROWN NOSING Universal executives (not on the Internet) who also made Ron Moore's "BATTLECRAP: GALACTICA" a reality with that "TONGUE INSERTION THINGY?" 

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