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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.
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From: "Dreamwatch" magazine
Issue#: 118
Pages 58-60
Starbuck: Lost In Castration
"Writing exclusively for Dreamwatch, Dirk Benedict candidly outlines his personal thoughts on the "re-imaging" of Battlestar Galactica and evaluates the current state of the Hollywood film and TV industry..."
"Once upon a time, in what used to be a far away land called Hollywood but is now a state of mind and everywhere, a young actor was handed a script and asked to bring to life a character called Starbuck. I am that actor. The script was called Battlestar
Galactica.
Fortunately, I was young, my imagination fertile, and my andrenal glands strongs, because bringing Starbuck to life was over the dead imaginations of a lot of Network Executives. Every character trait I struggled to give him was met with vigorous resistance. A charming womanizer? The "Suits" (Network Executives) hated it. A cigar (fumerello) smoker? The Suits hated it. A reluctant hero who found humor in the bleakest of situations? The Suits hated it. All of this negative feedback convinced me that I was on the right track.
Starbuck was meant to be a lovable rogue. It was best for the show, best for the character, and the best that I could do. The "Suits" didn't think so. "One more cigar and he's fired" they told Glen Larson. "We want Starbuck to appeal to the female audience for crying out loud!!" You see, the "Suits" knew that women were turned off by men who smoked cigars. Especially young men.
(How they "knew" this was never revealed.) And they didn't stop there. "If Dirk doesn't quit playing every scene with a girl like he wants to get her into bed, he's fired!" This was, well, it was blatant heterosexuality. Treating women like "sex objects." I thought I was flirting. Never mind. They wouldn't have it.
I wouldn't have it any other way, or rather Starbuck wouldn't. So we persevered. Starbuck and I. The show, as the saying goes went on and the rest is history. - for lo and behold, women from all over the world sent me boxes of cigars, phone numbers, dinner requests, marriage proposals....The suits were not impressed. They would have it their way, which is what "Suits" do best, and after one season of puffing and flirting and gambling, Starbuck, that loveable scoundrel; was indeed fired. Which is to say "Battlestar Galactica" was cancelled. Starbuck however, would not stay cancelled. But simply morph into another flirting, cigar smoking, blatant heterosexual called "Faceman." Another show, another set of "Suits", and of course, if the "A-Team" movie rumors prove correct, another remake.
There was a time - I know - I was there, when men were men, women were women, and sometimes a cigar was just a good smoke. But 40 years of feminism have taken their toll. The war against masculinity has been won. Everything has turned into its opposite, so that what was once flirting and smoking is now sexual harassment and criminal. And everyone is more lonely and miserable as a result.
Witness the "re-imagined" Battlestar Galactica. It's bleak, miserable, depairing, angry, and confused. Which is to say, it reflects, in microcosm, the complete change in the politics and mores of today's world as opposed to the world of yesterday. The world of Lorne Greene (Adama), and Fred Astaire (Starbuck's Poppa), and Dirk Benedict (Starbuck). I would guess Lorne is glad
he's in that big Bonanza in the sky and well out of it. Starbuck, alas, has not been so lucky. He's not been left to pass quietly into that trivial world of cancelled TV characters.
"Re-Imagining" they call it. "Un-Imagining" is more accurate. To take what once was and twist it into what never was intended. So that a television show based on hope, spiritual faith, and family is "UN-IMAGINED" and "REGURGITATED" as a show of DESPAIR, SEXUAL VIOLENCE, and FAMILY DYSFUNCTION. To better reflect the times of ambiguous morality in which we live, one would assume. A show in which the aliens (Cylons) are justified in their desire to destroy human civilization. One would assume. Indeed, let us not say who are the good guys and who are the bad. That is being "Judgemental." Taking sides. And that kind of simplistic thinking went out with Margaret Thatcher, Ronald Reagan, Katherine Hepburn, John Wayne, and well, the original "Battlestar Galactica."
In the bleak and re-imagined world of "Battlestar Galactica", things are never that simple. Maybe the Cylons are not evil and alien but in fact enlightened and evolved? Let us not judge them so harshly. Maybe it is they who deserve to live and Adama and his human ilk, who deserves to die? And what a way to go! For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six-foot tall former lingerie models who Fuck you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had fighting with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such softcore, sci-fi porn, I think a more re-imaginative title would have been "Fucked By A Cylon."
One thing is certain. In the new "UN-IMAGINED", re-imagined world of "Battlestar Galactica", everything is female driven. The male characters, from Adama on down, are confused, weak, and wracked with indecision while the female characters are decisive, bold, angry as hell, puffing cigars (gasp!), and not about to take it anymore.
One can quickly surmise what a problem the original Starbuck created for the (re-imaginators  ). Starbuck was all charm and humor and flirting without an angry bone in his womanizing body. Yes, he was definitely female driven, but not in the politically correct ways of re-imagined television . "What to do?" -wondered the reimaginators . Keep him as he was, with a twinkle in his eye, a stogie in his mouth, and a girl in every galaxy? This could not be. He would stick out like, well, like a jock strap in a drawer of thongs. Starbuck refused to be reimagined. It became the great dilemma. How to have your Starbuck and delete him too?
The best minds in the world of "UN-IMAGINATION" doubled their intake of Double Soy Lattes as they gathered in their smoke free offices to curse the day this chauvinistic Viper pilot was allowed to be. But never underestimate the power of the "UN-IMAGINATIVE" mind when it encounters an obstacle (character) it subconsciously loathes. "Re-inspiration" struck. Starbuck would go the way of most men in today's society. "Starbuck" would become "Stardoe." What the "Suits" of yesteryear had been incapable of doing to Starbuck 25 years ago was accomplished quicker than you can say orchiectomy. Much quicker. As in "Frak!! Gonads gone!!" And the word went out to all the "Suits" in all the smoke free offices throughout the world of "UN-IMAGINATION." "Starbuck" is dead, long live "Stardoe!!"
I'm not sure if a cigar in the mouth of "Stardoe" resonates in the same way it did in the mouth of "Starbuck. Perhaps, Perhaps it resonates more. Perhaps that's the point. I'm not sure. What I am sure of is this...
Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan as Hamletta. Nor does Han Solo as Han Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman. Nor does a "Stardoe" a "Starbuck" make. Men hand out cigars. Women hand out babies. And thus the world, for thousands of years, has gone round.
I am also sure that "Show Business" has been morphing for many decades now and has finally become "Biz Business." The creative artists have lost and the "Suits" have won. "Suits." Administrators. Technocrats. "Metro-Sexual Money Men" (and Women) who create even more efficient formulas to guarantee profit margins. Because movies and television shows ARE NOT made to enlighten or to even entertain, but simply to make money. They will tell you it is still about story and character but all it is REALLY ABOUT is efficiency. About the formula. Because HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL TECHNOCRATS RUN HOLLYWOOD and what Technocrats know is what must be removed from all business is RISK. And I tell you life, REAL LIFE, is all about RISK. I tell you that without RISK there is NO CREATIVITY, NO ART. I tell you that WITHOUT RISK you have REMAKES. You have "Charlie's Angels", "The Saint", "Mission: Impossible." The "A-Team" (coming soon), "Battlestar Galactica." All RISK FREE BRAND NAMES, FRANCHISES.
For you see, TV shows (and movies) are made and sold according to the same business formula as hamburger franchises. So that it matters not if it is the best hamburger, what matters is that you think it is the best, because you have been told to ( by Universal/Sci-Fi Channel), because all of your favorite celebrities are seen munching it on TV. The big money is not spent on making the hamburger or the television show, but on the MARKETING of the hamburger or television show. (One 60-second commercial can cost more than it does to film a one-hour episode.) It matters not to "Suits" if it is "Starbuck" or "Stardoe", if the Cylons are robots or LINGERIE MODELS, if the show is full of optimism and morality or pessimism and amorality. What matters is if it is MARKETED well, so that all of you people out there in TV land know that you must see this show. And after you see it, you are told (by Universal/Sci-Fi Channel) that you should like it. That it is new, and bold, and sleek, and sexy, and best of all, it is "Re-Imagined!!"
So, grab a Coke from the fridge (not the Classic Coke, but the re-imagined kind with fewer calories), and send out for a McDonald's hamburger (the re-imagined one with fewer carbs), and tune into "Stardoe" and "Cylon #6" (or was it #69?) and enjoy the show.
And if you don't enjoy the show, or the hamburger and coke, it's not the fault of those re-imagined technocrats that brought them to you. It is your fault. You and your individual instincts, tastes, judgement. Your refusal to let go of the memory of the show that once was. You just don't know what is good for you. But stay tuned. After another 13 episodes, (and millions of dollars of marketing), you will see the light. You, your instincts, your judgement, are wrong. McDonald's is the best hamburger on the planet. Coca-Cola is the best drink. "Stardoe" is the best Viper pilot in the Galaxy. And "Battlestar Galactica", contrary to what your memory tells you, never existed before the "re-imagining" of 2003.
I disagree, but perhaps, you had to be there..."
Actor Dirk Benedict first shot to fame as Starbuck in the on the classic sci-fi series "Battlestar Galactica" (1978-79) and subsequently starred as Templeton (Faceman) Peck in the legendary action/adventure series the "A-Team." He has since appeared in numerous screen productions and has successfully moved into directing with the films "Christina's Dreams" and Cahoots" (which he also wrote).
Benedict found further acclaim as the author of two books "Confessions of a Kamikaze Cowboy", and "And Then We Went Fishing."
Now based in Montana, Benedict declined a cameo role in the 2003 "Battlestar Galactica" mini series and doesn't expect to star in the upcoming show, especially when its producers read this article. 
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