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December 18, 2005, 12:06:00 AM

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689 Posts in 462 Topics by 1 Members
Latest Member: languatron
THE TRACK RECORD OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL......"JOHN EDWARD" CANCELLED....."THE CHRONICLE" CANCELLED......"FARSCAPE" CANCELLED....."TREMORS" CANCELLED......"DREAM TEAM" CANCELLED...."SECRET ADVENTURES OF JULES VERNE" CANCELLED....."BLACK SCORPION" CANCELLED....."SCIOGRAPHY" CANCELLED....."SCI-FI VORTEX" CANCELLED....."INVISIBLE MAN" CANCELLED....."G VS. E" CANCELLED....."WILLIAM SHATNER'S FULL MOON FRIGHT NIGHT" CANCELLED...."FIRST WAVE" CANCELLED....."FTL NEWSFEED" CANCELLED....."NEW OUTER LIMITS" CANCELLED......"POLTERGIEST-THE LEGACY" CANCELLED....."TOTAL RECALL-2070" CANCELLED......"THE WAR ROOM" CANCELLED......"SCI-FI BUZZ" CANCELLED......"TRIPPING THE RIFT" CANCELLED......"SLIDERS" CANCELLED....."WEEKLY SCI-FI NEWS WITH CHASE MASTERSON" CANCELLED...."MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" CANCELLED....."VR-5" CANCELLED........"TIME TRAX" CANCELLED......."THE FLASH" CANCELLED......"NOW & AGAIN" CANCELLED......"M.A.N.T.I.S." CANCELLED......."FANTASY ISLAND" CANCELLED......"TIME COP" CANCELLED........"SPACE PRECINCT" CANCELLED......."MAX HEADROOM" CANCELLED......."THE MAGICIAN" CANCELLED....."SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN" CANCELLED........"BIONIC WOMAN" CANCELLED......"HULK" CANCELLED......"SWAMP THING" CANCELLED......"WONDER WOMAN" CANCELLED......"THE IMMORTAL" CANCELLED......"VIPER" CANCELLED......"RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" CANCELLED (??)........CANCELLATIONS INCLUDE SCI-FI CHANNEL ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING AND SYNDICATED SERIES SHOWN ON SCI-FI CHANNEL...."RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" HAS NOT BEEN CANCELLED YET.....

"VAN HELSING" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."THE HULK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."CAT IN THE HAT" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."JOSEY & THE PUSSYCATS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."FLINTSONES" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIVA: ROCK VEGAS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."HOWARD THE DUCK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."PITCH BLACK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIRUS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE.....

WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS CANCELLED ALL OF THE SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AND REPLACED THEM WITH NON-SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, THEY NEGLECTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE NETWORK TO SOMETHING MORE FITTING. "THE HORROR CHANNEL", "THE USA NETWORK FILM VAULT CHANNEL", "THE INFOMERCIAL NETWORK", "THE HORROR/ACTION CHANNEL", OR "THE COMMERCIAL BROADCAST NETWORK" WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE APPROPRIATE TITLES.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TRACK RECORD WITH FANTASY MOVIES ISN'T MUCH BETTER. UNIVERSAL STUDIOS USUALLY RUNS INTO PROBLEMS WHEN THEY TRY TO MAKE LIVE ACTION MOVIES BASED ON COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS. THE "HULK" BORED AUDIENCES TO DEATH BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE.....TURNING "VAN HELSING" INTO A SUPERNATURAL "RAMBO" WAS TOO RIDICULOUS FOR WORDS....."CAT IN THE HAT" PROVED THAT 5 YEAR OLD KIDS WEREN'T READY FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" HUMOR......"JOSEY AND THE PUSSYCATS" WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A "CHARLIE'S ANGELS" RETREAD BASED ON A 1970 CARTOON THAT NO ONE REMEMBERED......THE "FLINTSTONES" MOVIES PROVED THAT REBUILDING "BEDROCK" ON A STUDIO BACKLOT WASN'T ENOUGH TO DRAW IN THE FANS OF THE CARTOON.....SOME PROPERTIES SHOULD BE LEFT IN CARTOON FORM, WHICH "ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" PROVED......"HOWARD THE DUCK" WAS GEORGE LUCAS'S FIRST CAREER FLOP. HOW FITTING THAT LUCAS CHOSE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FOR THAT MOMENTOUS OCCASION......"PITCH BLACK" WAS "PITCH DULL"....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" DISAPPEARED FROM THEATERS FASTER THAN "FINAL FANTASY-THE SPIRITS WITHIN"......AND "VIRUS" PROVED THAT WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS MADE A MOVIE FOR THE SUMMER OF 1999, NO ONE CAME AND WENT TO THE BEACH INSTEAD......

THE MANAGEMENT OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS AN OPENLY HOSTILE REGIME TOWARDS THE VIEWING PUBLIC, SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, AND THE "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" COPYRIGHT. THE ENDLESS GRAVEYARD OF CANCELLED TELEVISION SHOWS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AS WELL AS UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ENDLESS BOX OFFICE FAILURES INDICATES THAT THIS IS A CORPORATION THAT DELIBERATELY LOST ITS WAY IN MAKING RATIONAL BUSINESS DECISIONS. ONE CAN ALWAYS HOPE FOR MIRACLES, AND THE PERMANENT FINANCIAL DOWNFALL OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS A DREAM SHARED BY MANY.
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| | |-+  What Would Bonnie Hammer Do With Herself If Sci-Fi Channel Were Commercial Free?
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Author Topic: What Would Bonnie Hammer Do With Herself If Sci-Fi Channel Were Commercial Free?  (Read 122 times)
languatron
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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.


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What Would Bonnie Hammer Do With Herself If Sci-Fi Channel Were Commercial Free?
« on: July 07, 2005, 11:47:19 AM »

Bonnie Hammer uses a commercial cable network like a crutch. If there are commercials running on her network, it's that much less time that she has to fill with new programming. A commercial free "Sci-Fi Channel" would be a mark of true class, just as long as Bonnie Hammer and NBC-Universal were not running that channel. What would Bonnie Hammer do with herself if she were suddenly faced with the prospect of running a commercial free Sci-Fi Channel? Knowing Hammer, she would screw the channel up even worse with EVEN MORE frequent raids of the "USA Film Vaults", digging out EVEN MORE "NON-SCIENCE FICTION BOX OFFICE DUDS" from Universal Studios RICH HISTORY OF BEING UNABLE TO CONNECT WITH THE MOVIE GOING PUBLIC. Hammer would probably come up with even more STUPID IDEAS for television series, such as "Dream Team", "Scare Tactics", and "Billy Boy Shatner's Full Moon Fright Night."

Perhaps the biggest tragedy that would hit Bonnie Hammer if she were suddenly faced with the prospect of running a commercial free "Sci-Fi Channel", is that she wouldn't be able to sit on her LAZY ASS as frequently as she used to. A commercial free cable network tends to take up a great deal of the time of all of the various executives involved. I think that the executives working for HBO, Showtime, and Encore would tend to agree with me.

I think Bonnie Hammer would face the ordeal of having to run a commercial free "Sci-Fi Channel" with the same sort of SHREWD, RAZOR SHARP, POOR DECISION MAKING that has become her HALLMARK. I would see Hammer GUTTING the Science Fiction content of the channel even further (what's left to GUT?), combined with a TOTAL SATURATION of Horror movies and NON-GENRE movies from the USA film vaults. "Sci-Fi Channel" would eventually be forced to change its name (why it hasn't been changed long before now is anyone's guess) because within the CREATIVELY DYSFUNCTIONAL MINDS of NBC-Universal executives, they wouldn't be able to figure out how to load a commercial free cable network with round the clock Science Fiction programming. Hell!! NBC-Universal executives can't figure out how to load a commercial rich cable network with Science Fiction programming 25% of the time!! Perhaps it's just as well that Sci-Fi Channel is a commercial rich cable network. Faced with the prospect of the Sci-Fi Channel being commercial free, Bonnie Hammer would FUCK THE CHANNEL to utter hell even further (if that's even possible!!)  Kiss


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