languatron
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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.
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A new television series that combines the best aspects of "Star Trek" cliches with Ronald D. Moore's extremely limited imagination. A "Star Trek" sequel series that elaborates a bit further on the "Star Trek: Voyager" format while at the same time, borrowing with reckless abandon every original idea from "Babylon 5", "Space: Above & Beyond", "Species", and "Andromeda."
Universal/Sci-Fi Channel (The Anti-Imaginative Corporation) presents.....a Ronald D. Moore/David Eick "Star Trek" sequel series production:
"TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA"
starring Edward James Olmos..................as Captain Picard
Mary McDonnell.....................................as Deanna Trois
Jamie Bamber.......................................as Tom Paris
Tricia Helfer..........................................as Seven of Nine
In the farthest reaches of outer space, the "Starship Voyager" has successfully returned home from the "Delta Quadrant." Unfortunately, the "Voyager" opened up a worm hole during its return home, causing a dimensional doorway to open between "Federation" space and the "Colonial" universe of the "Battlestar Galactica."
A massive sucking phenomenon occurred. Like a vacuum cleaner, spaceships and characters from the "Colonial" universe were sucked into the "Federation" universe; creating a bold new, EXTREMELY CLICHED, alternate reality. Through some fantastic rearranging of DNA at the subatomic level, "Federation Starships" in the "Star Trek" universe now bear an uncanny resemblance to the "Battlestar Galactica" and her "Rag Tag Fleet." One time "Federation" officers from the "Star Trek" universe now have the names of characters from the "Battlestar Galactica" universe. Perhaps even worse, the mighty "Colonial" universe of the "Battlestar Galactica" now has its original occupants spewing forth endless "Techno-Babble" in place of plot.
This mutated universe is not a pretty one to behold. "Starbuck" is now a chick. "Seven of Nine" has been mutated into "Six." "Boomer" is also a chick, the former precinct Captain from "Miami Vice" now commands a "Federation Starship" called the "U.S.S. Galactica", everyone now wears "Babylon 5" uniforms, pilots mutated "Battlestar Galactica" spaceships, spews forth "Techno Babble" in both universes, and an alien named "Six" (who used to be "Seven Of Nine") now has glowing spine just like "Sil" from the movie "Species."
In an awkward attempt to seal the worm hole connecting both universes, the top brass at "Starfleet Command" and "The Council Of The 12" have formed an uneasy alliance. They have decided to use three captured prisoners who mysteriously appeared in the "Galactica" brig at the time of the "Worm Sucking/Vacuum Cleaner/DNA Merging" phenomenon and use their bodies to plug the worm hole. Captured prisoners Bonnie Hammer, Ronald D. Moore, and David Eick will be sacrificed by "Starfleet Command" and "The Council Of The 12" (their live bodies will be jettisoned into outer space, into the worm hole), in a valiant attempt to plug the worm hole and set both universes back to normal. 
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