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December 18, 2005, 12:05:56 AM

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689 Posts in 462 Topics by 1 Members
Latest Member: languatron
THE TRACK RECORD OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL......"JOHN EDWARD" CANCELLED....."THE CHRONICLE" CANCELLED......"FARSCAPE" CANCELLED....."TREMORS" CANCELLED......"DREAM TEAM" CANCELLED...."SECRET ADVENTURES OF JULES VERNE" CANCELLED....."BLACK SCORPION" CANCELLED....."SCIOGRAPHY" CANCELLED....."SCI-FI VORTEX" CANCELLED....."INVISIBLE MAN" CANCELLED....."G VS. E" CANCELLED....."WILLIAM SHATNER'S FULL MOON FRIGHT NIGHT" CANCELLED...."FIRST WAVE" CANCELLED....."FTL NEWSFEED" CANCELLED....."NEW OUTER LIMITS" CANCELLED......"POLTERGIEST-THE LEGACY" CANCELLED....."TOTAL RECALL-2070" CANCELLED......"THE WAR ROOM" CANCELLED......"SCI-FI BUZZ" CANCELLED......"TRIPPING THE RIFT" CANCELLED......"SLIDERS" CANCELLED....."WEEKLY SCI-FI NEWS WITH CHASE MASTERSON" CANCELLED...."MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" CANCELLED....."VR-5" CANCELLED........"TIME TRAX" CANCELLED......."THE FLASH" CANCELLED......"NOW & AGAIN" CANCELLED......"M.A.N.T.I.S." CANCELLED......."FANTASY ISLAND" CANCELLED......"TIME COP" CANCELLED........"SPACE PRECINCT" CANCELLED......."MAX HEADROOM" CANCELLED......."THE MAGICIAN" CANCELLED....."SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN" CANCELLED........"BIONIC WOMAN" CANCELLED......"HULK" CANCELLED......"SWAMP THING" CANCELLED......"WONDER WOMAN" CANCELLED......"THE IMMORTAL" CANCELLED......"VIPER" CANCELLED......"RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" CANCELLED (??)........CANCELLATIONS INCLUDE SCI-FI CHANNEL ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING AND SYNDICATED SERIES SHOWN ON SCI-FI CHANNEL...."RONALD D. MOORE'S TREKKIE STAR: GALACTICA" HAS NOT BEEN CANCELLED YET.....

"VAN HELSING" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."THE HULK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."CAT IN THE HAT" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."JOSEY & THE PUSSYCATS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."FLINTSONES" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIVA: ROCK VEGAS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE...."HOWARD THE DUCK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."PITCH BLACK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE....."VIRUS" FAILS AT BOX OFFICE.....

WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS CANCELLED ALL OF THE SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AND REPLACED THEM WITH NON-SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, THEY NEGLECTED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE NETWORK TO SOMETHING MORE FITTING. "THE HORROR CHANNEL", "THE USA NETWORK FILM VAULT CHANNEL", "THE INFOMERCIAL NETWORK", "THE HORROR/ACTION CHANNEL", OR "THE COMMERCIAL BROADCAST NETWORK" WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE APPROPRIATE TITLES.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TRACK RECORD WITH FANTASY MOVIES ISN'T MUCH BETTER. UNIVERSAL STUDIOS USUALLY RUNS INTO PROBLEMS WHEN THEY TRY TO MAKE LIVE ACTION MOVIES BASED ON COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS. THE "HULK" BORED AUDIENCES TO DEATH BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE.....TURNING "VAN HELSING" INTO A SUPERNATURAL "RAMBO" WAS TOO RIDICULOUS FOR WORDS....."CAT IN THE HAT" PROVED THAT 5 YEAR OLD KIDS WEREN'T READY FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" HUMOR......"JOSEY AND THE PUSSYCATS" WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A "CHARLIE'S ANGELS" RETREAD BASED ON A 1970 CARTOON THAT NO ONE REMEMBERED......THE "FLINTSTONES" MOVIES PROVED THAT REBUILDING "BEDROCK" ON A STUDIO BACKLOT WASN'T ENOUGH TO DRAW IN THE FANS OF THE CARTOON.....SOME PROPERTIES SHOULD BE LEFT IN CARTOON FORM, WHICH "ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" PROVED......"HOWARD THE DUCK" WAS GEORGE LUCAS'S FIRST CAREER FLOP. HOW FITTING THAT LUCAS CHOSE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FOR THAT MOMENTOUS OCCASION......"PITCH BLACK" WAS "PITCH DULL"....."CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK" DISAPPEARED FROM THEATERS FASTER THAN "FINAL FANTASY-THE SPIRITS WITHIN"......AND "VIRUS" PROVED THAT WHEN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS MADE A MOVIE FOR THE SUMMER OF 1999, NO ONE CAME AND WENT TO THE BEACH INSTEAD......

THE MANAGEMENT OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS AN OPENLY HOSTILE REGIME TOWARDS THE VIEWING PUBLIC, SCIENCE FICTION PROGRAMMING, AND THE "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" COPYRIGHT. THE ENDLESS GRAVEYARD OF CANCELLED TELEVISION SHOWS ON "SCI-FI CHANNEL" AS WELL AS UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ENDLESS BOX OFFICE FAILURES INDICATES THAT THIS IS A CORPORATION THAT DELIBERATELY LOST ITS WAY IN MAKING RATIONAL BUSINESS DECISIONS. ONE CAN ALWAYS HOPE FOR MIRACLES, AND THE PERMANENT FINANCIAL DOWNFALL OF "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS/SCI-FI CHANNEL" IS A DREAM SHARED BY MANY.
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Author Topic: How About Remaking Bonnie Hammer?  (Read 107 times)
languatron
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How About Remaking Bonnie Hammer?
« on: August 10, 2005, 02:09:21 PM »

....and get rid of the present WITCH? With "Star Shit: Galactica's" ratings NOSEDIVING every week due to GINO finally being DISCONNECTED from its MARKETING MACHINE, how about REMAKING Bonnie Hammer? We'll get a DNA sample of the WITCH, correct all of the GENETIC IMPERFECTIONS, grow "Bonnie Hammer II" in a giant size HABITRAIL CAGE, and then have her take the real Bonnie Hammer's place at Sci-Fi Channel. It's a WIN-WIN situation. Programming improves 100% on the Sci-Fi Channel, the real Bonnie Hammer is placed where she belongs, (at the McDonald's Drive-Thru Window taking orders), and viewers no longer have to put up with the real Bonnie Hammer's SHIT!!  Kiss
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