languatron
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Life could be this beautiful without NBC-TV in it.
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Special Guest Star....
Verne Troyer.....................................as Universal Snooper Scout Dangle Wood (Code Name: Mustex)
Universal executive #2: "What do you have in mind, Chief?"
Brick Blast Krofft: "We need to seduce Languatron into the dark side of doing things. The Universal Studios way of doing things."
Universal Executive #1: (Nervously) "You don't want to do the titty bar thing?"
Brick Blast Krofft: "SILENCE!!" (Whacks him over the head with his pointing stick).
Brick Blast Krofft: (Thinking out loud). We'll invite Languatron to the "Black Tower."
Bonnie Hammer: "Ha!! Ha!!! Ha!!!! I'll cook Langy my famous meat loaf. If it got rid of my four ex-husbands, it'll get rid of Langy too!!"
Universal executive 2: "How will we get him here, Chief? He doesn't work here, and there would be no reason for him to show up here under any circumstances."
Brick Blast Krofft: "How about, a Battlestar Galactica appreciation day?" (Thinking out loud). "We have seen the evil of our ways here at Universal Studios. We want to throw a small appreciation party for all of the Galactica fans who kept the faith over the years...The SPECIAL "Galactica" fans....The ones who have been CRITICIZING US on the Internet for FIVE STRAIGHT YEARS....(Raising his voice)....THROWING A MONKEY WRENCH INTO OUR "ANTI-GALACTICA PLANS" FROM DAY ONE....(Calming down)....We'll have a cake, cookies,....and strippers popping out of the cake.
Universal executive #1: (Nervously)..."Good!! The titty bar thing never fails. It's how I bribed my dad to look the other way when I flunked seventh grade."
Brick Blast Krofft: (Calls his secretary) "Get me 'Universal Snooper Scout Dangle Wood.'"
Lola Lolita: "Dangle Wood is currently standing watch in our underground snooper facility."
Brick Blaast Krofft: (Whispers) "Get him up here on the double."
Lola Lolita: "Yes Sir."
Universal Executive #2: "Do you really need Dangle Wood in on this, Sir? He tried turning in his own mother to the Universal Studios Secret Police when he caught her buying a DVD from 20th Century Fox, our rival."
Brick Blast Krofft: (Evil, Crooked Smile)
(Snooper Scout Dangle Wood enters)....
Brick Blast Krofft: "Dangle Wood!! I haven't seen you in a while. You had a part time job for awhile, didn't you?"
Dangle Wood: "Midget, Motorcycle Cop."
Brick Blast Krofft: "Did you enjoy it?"
Dangle Wood: "I got my ass kicked every day."
Brick Blast Krofft: "I need a favor, Dangle Wood. We're having some problems with a guy called Languatron."
Dangle Wood: (Squints like Clint Eastwood) "The Lang, huh?. We've had his bathroom under surveillance from our underground snooper facility since 1999."
Brick Blast Krofft: "Just his bathroom?"
Dangle Wood: "Our snooper radar keeps bouncing off of Glen Larson and ricocheting off of Saturn. We can't focus and maneuver the damn thing."
Brick Blast Krofft: "Fly out to Dallas. You are to Chloroform Languatron and bring him back to the Black Tower for cake, cookies, and strippers."
Dangle Wood: (Puts on his black sunglasses) "You got it, Chief."
(Next scene, the airport. Dangle Wood is wearing white pants, hawaiian shirt, dark sunglasses. Standing in line to buy his airline ticket).
To be continued.....
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