Battlestar Galactica - The Rantings of Languatron


Written on 2005-12-18

BSG TOS failed to be commercially and critically successful as a TV series, but it attained a sizable cult following and arguably the most collectively fanatical fanbase ever. Yes, even more so than Star Trek's. But there's a good reason for this. BSG TOS's fanbase became so much more fanatical because their show was snubbed before its time. Sure, so was Star Trek, but Star Trek was successfully revived and life continued on. BSG TOS was, however, canceled far earlier than Trek, and its revival, Galactica 1980, was an utter disgrace to the original. It's like being kicked when you're down. A few other revival efforts showed up, but never got off the ground. Galactica went into a long sleep only months after it was born.

What then drove the BSG TOS fans was anger. Anger at a TV network which interfered with their show without end until it just had to be taken off the air. Younger generations familiar with the sad events that befell Firefly should be able to relate. Fans' anger spiked even higher when Galactica 1980 was produced. Not only were they betrayed by the evil network, but now the show's creator had stabbed them in the back delivering content so bad the show should have remained canceled rather than be forced to accept this as canon. So with twenty years of hatred and bitterness in these fans, a vast many of them simply couldn't handle it when Ronald D. Moore retconned the whole show and started from scratch in 2003. Not only had they been betrayed by both the author and the TV network, but now what little precious canon they had was being thrown away and rewritten.

BSG TOS holdouts that despise the 2003 reboot are filled with levels of hate and bitterness that I may perhaps never understand. I realize that they feel insulted, but I personally would encourage them to see the big picture and move on. BSG TOS was unsalvageable. If RDM was to wake the sleeping giant, the show just had to be completely rebooted. There was no way to have the cake and eat it too. That's why the other revival attempts all failed! But then again, the BSG TOS holdouts' entire position is reinforced by decades of vile contempt and stubborn hope. They may be beyond any sort of convincing.

In any case, among the BSG TOS holdouts exists one loony character so full of rage and hate that not even his fellow peers want anything to do with him. This character known only by the pseudonym "Languatron" has floated around various Sci Fi messageboards on the internet posting heated, paranoid rants about how much he has hated the 2003 reboot ever since its debut. I guess for him, the 2003 reboot was the last straw that was needed to change him from being a bitter fanatic into a complete psychopath. He quickly found himself banned at most of the common messageboards. Eventually he setup a private messageboard where only he was allowed to post; you couldn't even make an account if you wanted to. Additionally, only he was allowed to read. For if he caught you browsing his rants for too long a time period, he would ban your IP. However, someone who really wanted to read his rants could do so for a little while by simply changing their IP and visiting again.

During this time period, people started to take notice of Langy's site and try to archive as much of his rants as possible, posting them elsewhere on the internet for people to read and make fun of. I was one of those people fascinated by his complete insanity, so I took it upon myself one day to make a complete archive of his entire forum using wget. (Such a handy tool.) My first attempt failed. I only got about 200 threads before he banned me. Which is actually kind of amazing if you think about it. This guy was checking his site many, many times a day just so he could ban IPs manually. Well, I decided to try it again one day in the wee hours of the morning hoping I'd slip through the cracks this time and was successful. I managed to archive his entire forum. Word of my victory spread quickly through the internet and about a week after I did that, Langy closed the doors to his forum permanently. After that, every IP visiting his forum was immediately autobanned. It then became impossible to read any of it. He did, however, continue to post. Who he was talking to no one will ever know. So, sadly, I possess what will probably always remain the most recent public archive of Langy's rantings. So if you're looking for a good laugh, please proceed to read my Langy archives. If his chest had been a cannon, he'd have shot his heart at RDM.